//German Health Insurer Says Masturbation Is The Cure For Sleepless Nights

German Health Insurer Says Masturbation Is The Cure For Sleepless Nights

German Health Insurer Says Masturbation Is The Cure For Sleepless NightsUniversale Pictures/Bravo TV

Traditionally, methods of getting some shut-eye include counting sheep or having a nice cup of herbal tea.

However, a German health insurance provider has just claimed there is a far naughtier way to get a good night’s sleep when you’re, erm, tossing and turning: masturbation.

Barmer Krankenkasse have advised, ‘Masturbation helps you fall asleep.’ Adding, ‘If you can’t sleep again, just use your hand to pleasure yourself, or use a toy, then sleep comes all by itself.’

Masturbation hilft beim Einschlafen. 😴 Wenn du mal wieder nicht schlafen kannst, dann leg einfach mal selbst Hand an oder hol dir ein Spielzeug dazu, dann kommt der Schlaf ganz von alleine.

Posted by BARMER on Thursday, July 25, 2019

The cheeky bit of wisdom was shared on the company’s Facebook page, complete with a picture of a vibrator emblazoned with the words, ‘For vibrant nights’.

The post was widely shared, with customers left surprised and amused by the frankness shown by the health insurer on a subject which isn’t usually shouted about from the rooftops. Some non-customers even suggested the blue post had tempted them to switch providers.

One person chuckled:

Very cool advertisement. I’ve been considering changing [health insurers] for a long time, maybe this has been the decisive argument, who knows…

Another said:

Yay! You guys really have “eggs”! Celebrating this right now! Do you also deliver the hardware?


Speaking with Spiegel Online, Barmer spokesman Daniel Freudenreich confirmed the post was real:

There are still issues that are often concealed, although they affect most people.

With 9.2 million insured nationwide, Balmer is the second largest in Germany after Techniker Krankenkasse.


Barmer apparently aren’t tugging your leg – or any other body part – on this one. According to the Planned Parenthood website, relaxation is one of the numerous health benefits of masturbation:

Masturbation can lower stress and help you relax. It even helps some people fall asleep.

Registered sex therapist Judith Golden told Reader’s Digest: Best Health how masturbation can be of great help to those who suffer from insomnia:

Just as people fall into a deep sleep after sex with a partner, because blood pressure is lowered and relaxation is increased through the release of endorphins, masturbation is a good sleeping pill,

It is relied on by many as a nightly occurrence.

lmao my health insurance got in hot water for recommending masturbation to ppl who cant sleep

— mäddy (@boyangman) July 26, 2019

However, readers should consider the side effects of having too much of a good thing.

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